never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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