you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
