i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
