ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
