If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
