I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
