Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
