Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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