Tell her she can't have a vagina
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
