Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
