More tranny stories later!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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