Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize