I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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