shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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