are you still at the devil's house?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Of course I have a pirate flag
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
