Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
