I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
