you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They took my balls.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize