It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
