Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
