I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize