I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
