There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
