I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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