she was so not down for the gang bang
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dick very happy bro
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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