I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize