Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
