I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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