have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
