My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
