i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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