its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
