with your own penis?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
