I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
