just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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