so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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