You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
