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I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
