He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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