AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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