Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
