i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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