a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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