i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
