So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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