he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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