your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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