Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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