2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize