Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
