I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
