I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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