I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
