i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
