Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm bleeding and have questions
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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