no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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