I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
