she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
