I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
