What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
