i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
