like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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