her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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