He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize